Easter Candy season is upon us. I’ve spent the past week or so visiting all the drug stores and discounters to see what’s new. (Photos here.)

Hiding Eggs are those huge marshmallow candies like jelly beans but with a fluffed and grainy center. I don’t like eating them, but they’re definitely pretty.

The Jokerz Candy Bar from Go Max Go Foods is the last of their vegan candy bars on my list for review.

The happy red wrapper features jaunty typography and little playing card suit symbols in lavender. The name has one of those Z things on the end of it, I’m not sure if it was because there as already a Joker bar and they had to pick another name (actors usually go with a middle initial). Or maybe that was to make it cool and hip. As cool and hip as a vegan who doesn’t eat real chocolate. Much of the wrapper is spent explaining what’s not in the bar. There are no dairy ingredients or cholesterol, no hydrogenated oils or trans fats and it’s free from artificial flavors and colors. Their description on the website is a little more appealing:

When your idea of the perfect candy bar is all about peanutty goodness, then we’ve got you covered. If layers of dry roasted peanuts, buttery-tasting caramel, and rich peanut nougat, sweetly wrapped in a delicious chocolately coating sounds like a little slice of heaven, then smile, the Jokerz(tm) bar is for you!

The bar, if you couldn’t already tell, is a vegan version of a Snickers. But really it’s just inspired by the Snickers, as there’s very little that’s the same except for the inclusion of peanuts. The bar I got was a little worse for wear. A bit melted on one side, this is generally the hazard with mockolate candy, which often has a lower melting point than chocolate. But the good thing about mockolate is it doesn’t lose its tempering as easily - so the texture that exists is generally the same after resolidifying.

The construction inside is a smooth and dense “nougat” with peanuts on top and then layered with a caramel-like chew. It’s all covered in a thin layer of rice-milk mockolate. The bar is a bit flatter than Snickers (about the same weight though, which is 2.07 ounces), but also a bit longer (about 4.25 inches long).

The bar does smell good, like opening a can of Spanish peanuts. Lightly toasted, the nut aromas are not at all dark and there are hints of toffee sweetness.

The texture had a few similarities to the Twilight - a chewiness but no buttery caramel flavors. The good news is that the grassy and green tasting peanuts covered up a lot of other things that I found lacking in this bar. The chocolate coating felt greasy (possibly because parts of it were melted & reformed) and the nougat center simply had none of the fluffy qualities associated with American nougat nor the silky dissolve of the European versions.

The bar was filling, too filling for me, I was pretty satiated after about a third of it.

I liked it better than Twilight and Buccaneer, but then again I like Snickers better than Milky Way or 3 Musketeers for the simple reason that I like peanuts. I’d rank it as my second favorite of the Go Max Go bars, but really, don’t make me eat any more of them.

On the whole I don’t like things that pretend to be other things: fake meat, fake fur and certainly not fake chocolate. But these bars go further, they try to emulate complex things like caramel and nougat, which can be done, but I have to wonder why. There are plenty of other fabulous vegan things that can be done with sugar and chocolate (and nuts) - trying to pretend to be something else instead of something originally awesome is just an exercise in disappointment.

For a vegan version of this candy, try Goldenberg’s Peanut Chews (also called Chew-Ets) in the dark version. Far cheaper but not free of hydrogenated oils.

(For anyone interested in the candy maker’s reaction to this post, check this out.)

Go Max Go is not organic, not fair trade, not Kosher and is made in a facility with dairy, eggs, wheat, peanuts and other tree nuts. They do market themselves as dairy free and gluten free, but there can be traces because of their manufacturing practices.

Related Candies

1. Go Max Go Mahalo Candy Bar
2. Zingerman’s Zzang! Candy Bars
3. Crispy Cat
4. Sjaak’s Vegan Chocolate Assortment
5. Snickers Xtreme

I love foil wrapped chocolates. I love it even more when the wrapping is off and what’s underneath is still just as pretty.

These orange flavored dark chocolate scallop shells were just that. Shiny and sweet and orangey.

Buccaneer is a vegan, all natural candy bar from Go Max Go foods.

the rich brown wrapper features a little black pirate flag and a trail to an X marking the spot. At exactly 2 ounces it’s a hefty bar, though pretty spare in calories because of the low fat content - it only clocks in at 230 calories (115 per ounce, very low for a candy bar). But it’s also expensive, $2.39 which figures out to a little more than $19 per pound.

How does a rich, fluffy, chocolately nougat covered in a creamy chocolately coating sound right about now? If you can’t answer because desire is consuming you… aye matey, ‘tis a Buccaneer(tm) bar for you!

I don’t know that much about Buccaneers except that they were the specific pirates of the Caribbean of the 17th century. They were nothing like Musketeers, which were soldiers under employ of the crown.

From the description I was expecting something similar to the 3 Musketeers Bar. Though it’s not quite as square in shape, it does resemble it from the outside. But that’s about as far as it goes. Instead of a rounded-right-angled shape it’s more of a slumped dome.

The filling is not nougaty, it’s more like a cross between a fudge and a caramel. The texture is fluffier than a fudge, but chewy as well. There’s no satisfying caramel pull or even any smoked sugar notes. The malt flavors are good, a little on the cereal side without the milk notes but also a good enough salt hit to make it interesting.

It’s not as sweet as the Twilight bar, but the texture and mouthplay isn’t as interesting. The chocolate component is wholly lacking and not worth the extra palm oil calories, spare as they might be.

Part of the problem may be that I’ve never found the 3 Musketeers bar to to my liking, so a vegan version probably start with marks against it.

Though it’s all natural and vegan, it’s made on shared equipment with dairy, eggs, wheat, tree nuts and peanuts. They do market themselves as dairy free and gluten free, but there can be traces because of their manufacturing practices.

(For anyone interested in the candy maker’s reaction to this post, check this out.)

Related Candies

1. Go Max Go Twilight Candy Bar
2. Go Max Go Mahalo Candy Bar
3. Gourmet Gumdrops
4. Goldie’s Premium Carob Bar
5. 3 Musketeers Mini Mix
6. Rice Milk Chocolate Bars

This foil-wrapped acorn was hollow in the back and held a little package of molded chocolate squirrels.