Name: Carlos V
Brand: Nestle (Mexico)
Place Purchased: Jon’s Market (Los Angeles)
Price: $.99 for three
Size: .75 oz each
Type: Milk Chocolate

First, I have to say that I appreciate the size of these bars. They’re not miniature sized and not full candy bar sized. They’re the right size. You can eat two and probably not feel bad about it.

The image of Carlos V on the front kind of creeps me out the same way that the Burger King pantomime character in the recent commercials does, but maybe you don’t have a problem with that.

Anyway, what’s inside is a small milk chocolate bar. It’s kind of a cross between a European Cadbury bar, with its sticky milkyness and an American Nestle bar with its strong chocolate flavor. It’s very sweet, but I know that’s most people’s attraction to milk chocolate over dark chocolate. It was not at all grainy and had a pleasant vanilla scent. It melted well on the tongue. Mostly what I got from it though is a taste of powdered milk - which if you don’t think about it too hard tastes kind of like malt. But don’t think too hard if you’re going to enjoy this bar, just eat it.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Name: Strela Podolskaya
Brand: Roshen
Place Purchased: Jon’s Market (Los Angeles)
Price: $2.99
Size: 7 oz
Type: Filled Chocolate

There were two packages of this candy at the market. One was called “Robin Hood’s Arrows” or something like that, but the chocolate looked a bit fuzzy, whereas this package look shiny and fresh. I figured it was the same thing. So I’ve just been calling these Arrows. I finally found them on the very nice Roshen website where they describe them as “cone-shaped sweets with chocolate coating, filling cream and fondant filling with the additive of alcohol and cognac.”

Whooooo! When they say alcohol, these Ukrainian’s aren’t kidding!

The chocolate is very smooth and not too sweet, but the filling is smooth and creamy but absolutely too sweet. Then there’s the alcoholic kick that seemed to make everyone cough.

I think I’d prefer a larger chocolate proportion to the filling. Overall I found them to be tasty, but too sweet (not too alcoholic though).

If I were doing a fancy cake, I might use these little guys as a decorative, edible garnish. They seem perfect as a compliment to a smooth, fluffy white cake.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Name: Violet Crumble
Brand: Nestle (Australia)
Place Purchased: Convenience Store (Hollywood)
Price: $.75
Size: 1.25 oz
Calories per ounce: 150
Type: Candy (Chocolate)

The package says “It’s the way that it shatters that matters.” Of course the other side calls it “Australia’s Crisp Golden Honeycomb.” I’ve had this bar once before and was not terribly impressed. I was hoping it would be malt, but it’s not.

What is it? Think of that dense chalky styrofoam and then add some flavor and a sweet aroma similar to toasted marshmallows. One of my problems with this bar is the noise the honeycomb makes when you bite into it. Like biting into a piece of balsa wood or stiff styro. The ingredients also do not lend one to be drawn to the bar (there’s no honey), it’s mostly sugar and hydrogenated palm oil (yee! I have a cholesterol test coming up!).

That said, I actually like it. I can get beyond the sqeaky sound on my teeth because the crumble is really satisfying, it crackles and yields in the mouth, melting into a blissful sweet puddle. The chocolate coat is actually chocolate, which helps. The coating, I found, is a tad sweet, but I expect that from Aussie and Brit sweets, I suppose. Also, at only a little over an ounce, it’s a very satisfying bar because it’s so stuffed with air, it looks formidable. It’s the trans fat content that has me worried, so I’m going to stick to monosaturated treats for a while.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Name: Noir au Grue de Cacao
Brand: Michel Cluizel
Place Purchased: Garden of Eden (Manhattan)
Price: $5.45 (yow!)
Size: 3.5 oz
Calories per ounce: 180
Type: Chocolate

Michel Cluizel has been mentioned to me a few times as the epitome of fine, dense chocolate. I’ve looked at it quite a few times in the shops but have always been hesitant because of the price. Really, at $1.55 per ounce, this stuff better be pretty good.

It’s nicely packaged, I like things in boxes instead of flimsy paper, especially for something that I’m not going to finish in one sitting. The scent of the chocolate is positively gorgeous. Chocolately, rich and with a hint of coffee.

The bar I chose is a standard dark chocolate with bits of cocoa nibs in it. I’ve had this sort of bar before (I’ll try to find that bar again, because I really liked it) and was looking forward to the mix of textures and taste density.

My first two squares were disappointing. I think I hit a bad patch of nibs, because they tasted very musty. But, upon revisiting it the next day, I found that the chocolate was very smooth with an excellent contrast of the crunchy nibs. Overall I think that the addition of the nibs if more of a novelty than an actual enhancement. I like nuts in my chocolate, or raisins or, jeeze, just about anything. But I don’t like things in my chocolate that don’t add to the experience.

Rating: 6 out of 10.

Name: Fondente Nero
Place Purchased: Novi
Price: unknown (gift)
Size: 4.5 oz
Type: chocolate

The Man brought this back from Italy on his last visit. It was a stack of three of these generous bars - one was given to his parents and we kept the other two.

It’s a wonderfully dense and rich chocolate, smooth but with a dry finish. It has a very good mouth feel, a good snap and then melts suddenly but there’s something oddly plastic about it. I don’t know if it’s the cocoa butter or we got a bad batch or the vanilla, but it’s just a little off, maybe tastes like its wrapping. However, this is a mass produced bar and readily available in Italy and a good value for a low end gourmet chocolate. Rating: 6 out of 10