Name: Neon Lasers
Brand: Albert’s
Place Purchased: 99 cent Store
Price: $.99
Size: 5.6 oz (101 sticks)
Type: Sour
I had high hopes for these, though I’ve steered clear of pixie stix and smarties for some years. I love the pure sugar rush, but of course hate the crash. I consider pixie sticks and smarties to pretty much be candy cocaine.
Pixie stix are notoriously expensive, which baffles me. They’re sugar and some sour stuff, probably citric acid or malic acid. That’s it. Maybe they’re hard to produce, stuffing them into those little paper tubes.
These Neon Lasers are in plastic tubes and are they ever tough to open. If you’re lucky, you get one that opens when you crack the seal at one end by pressing the little seal the opposite direction that it’s flattened. Otherwise, just keep some scissors handy.
Upon pouring about a third of a laser into my mouth, I found that it was not power, but little grains, well, really large grains. A cross between sea salt and kosher salt. The crunchy part is just sugar and the little grit around it is the flavor. Will seemed only slightly more pleased with them than I was, but given the opportunity to take them home, he declined. I’d venture that meant a low rating from him too.
I’m wholly unpressed. It’s not really that they taste bad, they just aren’t worth the trouble.
Rating: 3 out of 10.
SUPERB
YUMMY 
TASTY 
WORTH IT 
TEMPTING 
PLEASANT 
BENIGN 
UNAPPEALING 
APPALLING 
INEDIBLE 
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Comment by
russ on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
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Comment by
Anonymous on 12/31/69 at 4:00 pm #
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Comment by
Debra on 11/20/08 at 6:29 am #
Commenting is not available in this channel entry.But, but, ...
Smarties are the best, ever! I never bought them, but loved getting them at Halloween. When I was a kid I didn’t think much of them, but as an adult they were the best thing to find on people’s desks!
And Pixie Sticks…I like them to show the young people what I suffered through as a kid.
I have been addicted to Albert’s Neon Lasers candy filled straws for about 3 years, ever since I found them at Dollar General when I was in Tulsa. I bought about 30 bags cause we don’t have a Dollar General in California. (I’ve never noticed them at the 99 cent store, which I frequent often).
I like chewing on the straw, just enough to puncture the plastic so the powder is released gradually. Yumm!
Every time my son or I visit Tulsa or Texas, I make sure I get a huge supply.
When my son brought back my “fix” a couple of months ago, I was soooo disappointed! “Albert” is only filling the straws about 70-75% of the way now, so I can’t enjoy them like I used to. They’re really hard to puncture with less powder.
I guess I should be thankful, cause it was a bad habit and I was probably wearing my teeth down.
I still have a few of the “good” straws left, that are bulging with powder, and am savoring them. After I finish those and the “Jeannie Craig” ones, I’ll kick the habit. When they’re gone, they’re gone.
I guess you could call it “Albert’s Intervention”, cause I don’t think I would have quit on my own.
I tried neon laser about 2 maybe 3 years ago I went crazy with them. I started giving them to all the teenagers I had around the house and they too became addicted. I used to be able to find them at the dollar store when I lived in Oregon for some reason you just can’t find them there anymore. I was pleased when I moved to Nevada, I thought right on neon lasers but they don’t have them here either. Do you know of any stores besides the dollar store that carries them?\
Thanks
Debra
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